420 ftw
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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