She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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