my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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