Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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