I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
