Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
