and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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