The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
