is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There r osticjed everywhere
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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