If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just sent this text using only my big toe
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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