She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
