so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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