Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It was confusing and full of hummus
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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