You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
