it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
