how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
