I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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