he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
