I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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