she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
