My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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