Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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