Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
