you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
