guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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