A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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