On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
