If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
