What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
