my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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