If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
