So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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