The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
