just come out here and I will go home with you...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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