It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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