i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
