He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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