Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
