sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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