you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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