just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
