Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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