What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
