That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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