i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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