Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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