God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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