were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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