I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
