This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just found puke in my bra..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
