i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
